Shiver hits

Races up the spine

Familiar energy

A gift of acknowledgment

Though it is felt

Mood remains unchanged

Melancholy

Searching

Questioning everything

Tears well and recede

There is no subject matter

Just release

Attempted understanding

Neither head nor heart

Offer up information

There is a void

A heaviness

A slow aching pull

To unknown places

Something is being birthed

It labors in my chest

It’s insatiable

Uncomfortable

Confined

Cut the strings

Set it forth

Something good must come of this

A final push of emotion

I feel it

It is uncertain

Wild

Uncontrollable

What am I supposed to do with this

Run toward it

Run away

Be still

I fear no good can come of this

My fear

I know it better than I know myself

It wrote my history

How much longer must it write the future

Engtovo ~ August 31, 2008

Needy

Grasping

Pushing pulling

Confusion of familiarity

Aching

Turning

Sending receiving

Puzzle pieces missing

Heart calls out

No answers looming

Clock keeps ticking

Why can’t it be clear

Control fading

Something looming

Feelings unprepared

Fire burning

Sweet light nearing

Meaning can’t be found

Turmoil inside

Insanity outside

Peace is still not found

Engtovo ~ August 30, 2008

Explain this

There is no answer

The sheepish look is clear

Look down at the ground

Face your mother

She has nurtured you

You steal her energies

Use them for glory

You are like the rest

From you there is no authenticity

Dive deeply into yourself

What do you see

Is there connection

I cannot pity you any longer

There are no more excuses

You know the error of your ways

Your choices were conscious

You think you are righteous

But like the critics of Noah

You will perish in the proverbial flood

Listen

It is your own screams

But it’s too late

There are no more chances

Decisions are complete

These are the consequences

Karma brought of stupidity

Do not beg for mercy

Your mother is being merciful

Sending you home

Just say goodbye

Any who would miss you

Will join you

Those who remain

We will celebrate the living

Not memorialize the dead

Do not look to me

It is not I who have judged you

It is not I who sends you home

It is simply I who have noticed

Engtovo ~ September 10, 2007

Disgusted and raw
Tired of the games of ignorance
Egos out of control
As people harvest with evil
Lay claim to that which they know not
Place themselves forth as achievers
The lies are deadening
How can any believe
They offer contradictions as one
Not noticing the hypocrisy
Money and fame are to be found
Both are fleeting
Enjoy it while you can
The days are numbered
The truth will lay bare
You will be exposed

Engtovo ~ September 10, 2007

Contemplate alternatives

See a new way

It is ready to birth

Does anyone care

It seems not

It seems that they only see lies

Why is the truth so frightening

It seems comforting to me

Lies are what cause pain

Destruction is birthed in lies

Hurt cannot be run from

It follows like a loyal dog

It nags

It grows

It demands and then controls

Decisions get made in that turmoil

It is unacknowledged

Yet it is the deciding force

It motivates bad choices

It clouds judgment

And causes more hurt

It multiplies and moves out

It hurts one then two

Then four then eight

Exponentially it moves

The first one denies any responsibility

Blames everyone else

And it goes on

Passed like a pandemic

There must be immunity

Somewhere the secret lies

I seek it out

Ask the Creator for a map

For this hurt

It is not the divine plan

There is another way

If only it is chosen

Let go of those who are carriers

Open your eyes to the simplicity

There is gentleness here

It embraces us all

Feel it

Allow it to ease the hurt away

Sequester yourself when contagious

Refuse to pass it on

Take responsibility

Not with guilt or fear

But simply with acknowledgement

Seek out your motives

Contemplate alternatives

Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ August 23, 2007