Rays go out

Touch the earth

Touch the solar system

Animals ask

And receive

There is power

Golden and strong

Activating spontaneously

I am aware

But need do nothing

It heals and uplifts

It cleanses and purifies

Only available to few

Its intensity laser like

Sharp and focused

It is ordained

Engtovo ~ September 13, 2007

Heart opens to a new pathway
Creator has spoken
The group has responded
They will come from near and far
They carry the staff
Magic of the Merlin
Carefully chosen
Each agreed to take part
The activation is complete
The manifestation is in hand
I have been thrown a life raft of love
To ease my transition to the new life
I wrap myself in it
My pain floats away
Ease is ushered in
The Angels pave the pathway
All life agrees to make way
The dance is active
The dancers each hearing the proper beat
Timing is divine
Names change as people change
Identities shift to meet the new expression
There is no limitation left
What is left behind will survive
It will change
Expand and contract
All without us
It is ok
We have left a mark
The effect cannot be forgotten
Magic calls now
Its effect cannot be ignored
It whispers
It is time

Engtovo ~ December 29, 2006

Touching a core
Seeing & feeling the shift it brings
New honoring of self brings clarity
It then opens the way to more unknown and confusion
It is odd clarity and confusion side by side
I move in the right direction
I feel it
And yet I know not where I am headed in the short term
Only one long term is known
And from there it is unknown yet again
It is the human condition I suppose
I have found inner power
But the rest of me is trying to catch up
My body still groans as it repairs the damage done
I reach out for a plan
I know I have one
But it is unavailable for my appraisal
Time feels short
I am told it is in perfection
Time to do all that needs to be done
But what actually needs to be done
And what do I simply perceive needs to be done
And how do I keep my perceptions
From pressuring me by feeling things will not get done
As much as I hated the previous script
I knew what to anticipate
Now I know little
Only that love will win
Has already won
Even though those who hate think otherwise
Everything is obscure
Unformed
Is it wrong to want to see a little form
Even if it is only on a personal level
I have been changed
Stripped of old energy
It is freeing
And part of me still struggles with that freedom
Placing physical limitations upon me
The pain was intense
A teacher that I choose to never use again
There had to be another pathway to the same end
Now that I am mostly through to this side
I see the gift in it all
The way it reached in and cleared away
Everything that stood in the way
The transformation is big
Huge
Not quite comprehensible
So many questions are left in its aftermath
My foundation has been shaken loose
Only truth can be left to rebuild with
How many foundational pieces are left to discard
When will a sense of stability be regained on the new foundation
I seek the balanced state
What is happening within now is a state of flux
The end result of which is known
But not fully comprehended
The pain at the core no longer owns me
But the love from the core
Has not fully stabilized
There is a shattering sense that is expansion
And a desire to gather all the pieces
And quickly put them back together
Maintain the known
But pieces are already missing
Gone
Others fade quickly
There is no repair that can be made of the shattered illusions
Soon I will no longer desire to repair that perspective
But now I sit in silence and I am lost in myself
I am a puzzle and I have no picture to use to put me together
Only Creator has that picture
And only Creator can put me together from here
My place is to get out of the way
But mind wonders when, how, what will become
And so I contemplate
And time passes

Engtovo ~ January 29, 2006

Jesus knew the way home
But the disciples did not stand forth
By standards set forth by you
That would make Jesus a bad teacher
Instead of the disciples being limited students
How absurd
They had example
Proof from your perspective
And yet they remained mortal
Unable to follow suit
Why is this
I ask you
You cannot blame Jesus for still being mortal
As he was not
He gave them the full example of which you seek
Spalding saw it all for years
And yet he too did not stand forth
Were the Masters simply amiss in their teachings for him
That which you have put forth are naught but excuses
You desire your victimization and blame
But your life is your own dear brother
Always has been
Always will be
Your choices belong to you and you alone
If you want divine life you will have to work hard
It cannot be handed over
Bought or sold
Steps can be explained to the mind
But are meaningless until
Heart/soul/spirit take them in and experience them
It is a path of revelation
And the revelations can only come from within
If you have not had the revelations
You are not qualified to discuss them
Judge them
Or anticipate what they mean
Or how they should or should not be expressing
Divine life arrives in an instant
But there are years and lifetimes of preparation that come first
If the preparations have not been done the instant will not arrive
Have you done the preparation
You assume that upon seeing the proof
You would experience your divine life instantly
This is the foolishness of ego
Spend your time in preparation
And assume nothing
Humble yourself before your Creator
And seek not proof or outer expression from any
Look within
Look within
Look within
It is there your revelations await

Engtovo ~ October 18, 2005

Mortal life is fading from me

Connections severed

Preparing the way for me to be alone

To retreat

To live in peace

I feel the separation

But it feels right

It does not come with sadness

I am impatient to get on with it

Why does it have to drag on

Even though time is moving so quickly for me

It feels like a waste

I know there must be purpose to it

But I cannot touch that understanding

It feels arbitrary

Unnecessary

There is a weight on my heart

That is not pain

Is not burden

It is a release

As yet lacking clarity

Like a hole first made in a cocoon

I seek to make it bigger to remove myself

But right now it causes pressure

There is an impetus to break through

And a tiredness of spirit

As much as I am propelled to move forward

I wonder why it matters

I cannot sense the ripples

And do not care about them

I only want the struggle to be over

And the peace to move through me consistently

Engtovo ~ November 20, 2004